I have to admit that I am quite well known for my enormous appetite when it comes to food. I’m sure you’ve all heard of Buffy the Vampire Slayer - well I’m Mr B the Buffet Slayer.
It’s just that I love the food over here so much. Everything is fresh and tastes great and is usually washed down with a few cervezas. So slowly but steadily over the past few weeks my clothes have been getting tighter and tighter and I decided that I better start doing something about it pronto before I turn into the only gay in the village. Not a good look.
So the beer is out as is bread and ali oli (a particular favourite of mine) and I’ve also joined a gym. The gym is run by the most enthusiastic woman I’ve ever met so I’ll call her The Motivator. Seriously she uses more energy running around getting people to work harder in there than what the aforementioned Rock God uses in his flat.
The gym’s over here are different to the ones in England. For one thing they’re much cheaper. Another is that no-one really uses them to do cardio exercise unless it’s as part of a class. So there’s masses of different weights machines but no long banks of running machines - just a couple tucked in a corner.
Anyway when I go to the gym I like to absolutely beast myself. I’m one of those blokes in ancient gym kit, covered in sweat with a vein just about to burst on his head because he’s done 40 minutes of hard cardio on a cross trainer before going on to annoy the hell out of the roid monkeys by getting the weights machines all sweaty. So there I was giving myself a good beasting and everyone in there was staring at me as if I was completely bonkers. A couple were even shaking their heads and doing the ‘loco’ spinning a finger by their temples gesture. Well everyone except The Motivator - she gave me the thumbs up and then promptly forced Mrs B to go downstairs and do an hour long Body Pump class.
When Mrs B re-emerged her head was so red that I thought a massive Strawberry Chupa Chup lolly had nicked her gym kit when she wasn’t looking. She’s been walking around like C3PO from Star Wars ever since and decided that Wednesday night was going to be her rest day after The Motivator informed her it was another Body Pump night and her attendance was compulsory.
We were going to continue our good living by climbing Ibiza’s highest peak on Sunday but it’s absolutely p1ssing it down over here at the minute and rain is forecast for all weekend. After 6 weeks of sun I reckon I can take a few days of rain - just..
Tags: Los Fabulosos, The Motivator
